I hate Friendster blogs…for the sole reason that it doesn’t allow RSS feeds from my actual blog (http://lance-malvien.livejournal.com) Not too mention its soooper booooring layouts and skins. >_<;
So what’s the main point of this blog entry?
If you want to read up on me, visit my LJ…or for more camwhoring moments, check out my Multiply account: http://sulatangpapel.multiply.com
What if, you don’t
believe in love?
Then, someone teaches
you how.
Then, you fall for him
and you believe.
But, what if he’s not
suppose to love you,
Only to teach you.
I should’ve seen this coming. When
I look back, I realize that I have already foreseen this before it even began.
I was such a fool to play along, indulging myself deeper. Though I have
constantly reminded myself that I have to put an end to it, to clear things up,
my id just gets in the way, satisfying itself with affections denied from me
ever since.
You left me hanging
from the thread we once swung from together
-Goodnight, Maroon 5
And just
when I was getting used to all those affections, that is when he decided to end
it all without apparent reason. He purposely made a gap between us, and
prevented me or anyone else from bridging the distance that is slowly
separating us apart. Call me naïve, call me insensitive but it took me over a
month to realize that the detachment is becoming quite destructive. I was left
confused, by his actions and my emotions. And at that time, I didn’t have the
courage to talk, to speak up, and least of all, to confront him. I was afraid
that my assumption would be disproved and thrown straight to my face. I was
afraid of rejection.
I’ve let
time put everything into its proper places, I never did anything. I thought
that this would simply pass, that doing nothing could actually make everything
seem fine. But I was wrong. As each day passes, I just found myself longing
more and more of him and the times we shared together. All the affections, all
the attention, all of those seem to be just a dream I could never fall asleep
into again. The more I tried to hold on to those memories, the faster they slip
away through my fingers.
After a
series of talks, advices, frustrations, disappointments, and motivation from my
friends, I decided to confront him. Perhaps, it was the most difficult thing to
do: Confronting a person who doesn’t want to be confronted, asking for a talk
when avoiding the talk is what he’s been doing all along. Unanswered text
messages almost brought me to the verge of giving up, if it wasn’t for his
initiative.
So we
talked, and talked more for more than an hour. And when I thought that talking
is the way to settle things with him, it left me more confused than ever. Will
I still have to hold on or do I have to let go already? Time can tell, he says.
He left me with no choice but to say, “I can wait…but not forever.”
‘“Sir, we wish that we had been conquered only by the Americans, and not by the Spaniards.”’
-excerpt from “The Star-Spangled Curtain” by William Henry Scott
Lubhang nakalulungkot isipin na may mga taong ganito na pala ang takbo ng kaisipan. Nilamon na sila ng ideolohiyang ang Amerika ay isang kakamping handang ipagtanggol at suportahan ang Pilipinas. Tanggap lamang sila ng tanggap habang isinusubo ng Amerika ang kanilang mga pangangailangan sa paniniwalang ang lahat ng ito’s taos-pusong bigay ng Amerika para sa Pilipinas. Ang hindi nila maunawaan at sadyang ayaw unawain ay ang katotohanan na ginagamit lamang tayo para sa kanilang pansariling kapakanan.
Totoong malaki ang posibilidad na hindi maging patasang aking pananaw hinggil sa nasabing paksa. Ano nga ba naman ang makukuha mo sa isang taong pinalaki sa kapaligirang tahasang tumutuligsa sa pagmamanipula ng Amerika sa Pilipinas? Ngunit kahit saang anggulo mo tingnan, kitang-kita na mas mataas ang pagpapahalaga ng mga Pilipino sa mga Amerikano kaysa sa sarili nilang mga kababayan. Saan nga ba ito nag-ugat?
Likas na sa mga Pilipino ang pagbubukas ng tahanan sa kung kanino man, maging sa isang istranghero o dayuhan. Maaring ito ang nakita ng Amerika para unti-unting lasunin ang isipan ng mga Pilipino sa pamamagitan ng pagbibigay ng mga regalong kung kanila’y tawagin ngunit sa totoo’y mga basurang galing sa kanilang bansa. Ito’y mainit namang tinanggap at pinahalagahan ng mga Pilipino, marahil sa dahilang kahit kailan ay hindi pa sila nakatatanggap ng kahit ano mula sa Espanya. Itinuring nilang kaibigan ang Amerika at di naglao’y naging Diyos na ang tingin nila. Saan ka pa nga ba makakakita ng isang maunlad na bansang handang magbigay sa isang naghihingalong bansa ng walang hinihinging kapalit?
Habang umuusad ang panahon at lumalalim ang ‘pagkakaibigan’, tumitindi rin ang pagkontrol na ginagawa ng Amerika sa Pilipinas. Kahit naibigay na sa Pilipinas ang kanilang kalayaan, walang humpay pa rin naman ang pagkonsulta ng mga namumuno sa pamahalaan ng Amerika. Maski ang mga batas na ginawa at naipasa ay hango rin sa mga batas sa Amerika.
Naimpluwensyahan na rin ang pagiisip ng mga Pilipino. Tinatangkilik nila ang mga produkto galing sa Amerika sa paniniwalang ito’y higit na mas magandang klase kaysa sa ating sariling produkto. Ang pagsasalita ng kanilang wika ay naging simbolo ng mataas na katayuan sa buhay. Nabuo na ang konseptong pagmamahal sa kahit anong bagay na tatak-Amerika kasabay ang pagkalinang ng kaisipang kolonyal.
Sino nga ba ang may kagagawan para mangyari sa atin ito? Ang Amerika ba na nanggagamit o ang Pilipinas na nagpapagamit? Tunay ngang malaki ang utang na loob natin sa Amerika dahil sa mga naiambag nito sa ating kultura, ngunit ang utang na loob na ito’s matagal na nating nabayaran. Nabayaran na natin ito noong mga panahong tayo’y pinaikot, minanipula, nilinlang, at inalipusta, sa mahigit anim na dekada ng katapatan.
After watching Ouran High School Host Club DVD for the second time, re-reading (or rather, flipping through) the pages of the whole Volume 1-9 of its manga, making a Host Club inspired wallpaper for my desktop, putting a lot of Host Club pics in my mobile phone and setting Sinfonietta C-dur as my ringtone, and downloading 6 songs from its soundtrack via 56kbps dial-up, I found myself slowly realizing one thing: I’m obssessed with Ouran High School Host Club.
This isn’t something new since reading through my previous posts, you can clearly see that I’ve been vocal about my recent obssession.
What troubles(?) me is that I came to face the fact that I’m willing to dish out cash to support my obssession. Currently topping my wishlist are Ouran High School Host Club Soundtrack I & II, its Drama CD, and the english version of the manga Volume 1-9. Thank God, I doubt they’re already locally available.
My new LG B2100 phone is currently Host Club-infested. ^^;
A fangirl’s fantasy…Watch Ouran on this uber-large TV
Enjoying my Volume 1-9 manga…Uber-thanks to ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Nico for these ^^;
At least, some people have been good enough to provide me some updates from the recently concluded yaoi con, unlike the ones I’ve been expecting the news from.
A hundred, million thanks to FART for linking his shots to my LJ. Remind me to give him something if ever I spot him atthe ToyCon next month. 
By the way, congratulations to our Daddy Batella, and his Shuichi. ^^; You guys rock!
<—is envying the Pocky Stix you two are holding ><;
P.S. Pic courtesy of FART
Last May 21, 2006, in time of the opening of the 3rd largest mall in the world, the SM Mall of Asia, Toy Kingdom conducted a cosplay gathering and the Otaku-zine a photoshoot for the upcoming National Cosplay Competition. We arrived at MoA at past 1 pm, with Kuya Neil, Kuya Jeff and his girlfriend, Kuya Ryan, Kuya Lyron, and Marlon. The place was unbelievable, and not a perfect place to lose someone ><; We were so lucky though to get an entrance quite near to Toy Kingdom itself At last, I’ve met Daddy and Mommy in person! The Sohma-miki clan was almost completed. Too bad, Ate Eiri wasn’t able to come due to physical problems. Don’t worry, oneee-chan! There’s still next time P.S. ^^; I’ve managed to steal my mum’s cam so I was able to take a pic all those yaoiness that happened at MoA.
Another P.S. A million, million thanks to Kuya Neil Imagine, he paid for our fare from Megamall to MoA, then from MoA until Parola He deserves a basket of strawberry or a pack of peanut brittle once I get back to Baguio.
From BAD LUCK
From TV ANIMATION
From OVA
From AUDIO COMICS
